So lately I've been rather tired. And I'm not altogether sure why. I've found this to be a bit disconcerting. Usually when I'm tired I'm plagued with thoughts like "Next time I really need to go home after the third hour of Halo," or "Well, if you wait to the last minute to read a book for class you don't get to sleep... ever," or "That's it! Forget about fitness! I'll just eat asparagus and kumquats for the rest of my life and not worry about how I look, or feel, or smell and die young! But happy!" However this time I'm just left thinking "I'm tired. This sucks. Huh."
However, today I think I may have had an epiphany: I've been around a great many people for the last two weeks. A great many. I can't remember the last time I had a few hours to myself to just be quiet. I've been too busy helping folks and reading and moving things and working and being with my friends that I haven't seen and my girlfriend whom I'm so enamored with to take any time just for me to stop. These are all good things (some exceedingly more enjoyable than others, but all good) however if I don't stop in between to simply be silent, rest and be then I'm just going to fall to pieces. Interesting little pieces that somehow just don't fit right when you try and put them back together because they're missing something: sanity.
So in the light of this enlightenment I've taken the rest of today to be mostly alone. I've mown and trimmed the lawn. I've trimmed the trees. I've washed the dogs and myself(not at the same time or with the same soap.) I've used food to convince the dogs that I'm not evil for giving them baths. I've exercised and eaten dinner, read a bit and watched an hour of my favourite sitcom that is no longer running, (hence the title of this blog) and now I think I'm going to do a bit of laundering and then go to bed. But all of this I have done mostly in silence. What I really want to do is drive up to the mountains or to Morro Bay and sit and watch the sun set, then watch the stars come out and take a walk by the light of them in some bit of wilderness by myself, but I think I'll be able to make do with just maintaining silence. We'll see if it helps. Good night everybody!
-Josh
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3 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. I just need to get away for a while from people and write songs or pray or sleep and just be silent. Silence is such an unual thing these days. Quite is a word from the past. The worst part is that the more I do the less i feel like I have accomplished anything. Yes, we just need to be silent...
... do you want to hang out and make noise with me?
Mmmm.... yesh.
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