What a fool I am to let the ideas of the past take over the thoughts of my innermost heart! Why do I sit and wonder at the might have beens? They are naught. They are without shape, without form, without substance. They are nothing in the real world that we live our lives of pain and love in.
I suffer because I feel so alone. I dont feel like I have love in my life. And so I think that I am not worth what I wish for, simply because I have not gotten it. I lose hope in myself, and why? Simply because I am told by this fool of a culture that I am only worth what I have, not who I am. Supposedly what you are will give you a thing. But that takes time in reality. And reality is not what the culture values, so instead it tells us that the now is all that matters. Buy now, sell now, achieve now, run now, eat now, relax now, do all that is pleasurable in the instant now. It never tells us to wait now. Though its last trick is the meanest: it tells us to die in shame now. And it never warns you. You only find that one out before it happens if you keep your eyes open. But like Rome of old, it kills us all.
Morbid? Hell. Yes.
I suffer because I feel so alone. I dont feel like I have love in my life. And so I think that I am not worth what I wish for, simply because I have not gotten it. I lose hope in myself, and why? Simply because I am told by this fool of a culture that I am only worth what I have, not who I am. Supposedly what you are will give you a thing. But that takes time in reality. And reality is not what the culture values, so instead it tells us that the now is all that matters. Buy now, sell now, achieve now, run now, eat now, relax now, do all that is pleasurable in the instant now. It never tells us to wait now. Though its last trick is the meanest: it tells us to die in shame now. And it never warns you. You only find that one out before it happens if you keep your eyes open. But like Rome of old, it kills us all.
Morbid? Hell. Yes.
For most.
So it tells me that what I want I should have now. I should have that loving relationship now. I should have that lovely wife now. I should have that satisfaction of sex and children now, if ever.
Its wrong.
But it's clever in its deceit.
So it tells me that what I want I should have now. I should have that loving relationship now. I should have that lovely wife now. I should have that satisfaction of sex and children now, if ever.
Its wrong.
But it's clever in its deceit.
Let it damn itself. I wait for God.
3 comments:
Amen, my friend. Amen.
yes, how frustrating it is to fight against what everything our culture is telling us. my constat frustration... so, now the question is, what should we do about it? are we really called to live in this world and not of it? we are human and doesn't that mean we will enevitably be affected by our environment? I hate the fact that so many times God has us be in situations where there seems to be no way we can humanly resist falling into what the depraived side of our natures yell for. but wouldn't it just defeat the idea of us being weak and Christ being strong if it were always easy to remain aloof from the world?
I like how you said the world doesn't care about who you are. Of course it does not. Who we are is illusive. It takes lots of time with someone to even parcially understand who they are. It takes love of them, or at least intrest in them and that goes against our idea that all we should care about is us, and being good to other people so we look better. Yes, knowing someone is worth far more than anything but knowing God.
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